Missions Misunderstood

So there's a homeless guy that you see around town pretty often. One day, he approaches you on the street, asking for money. You compassionately give him a couple bucks.

You know, the "least of these" and all that.

The very next day, you see that same homeless guy sitting on a park bench, obviously drunk, with a beer in one hand, and a cigarette in the other. He's still begging, but since he's intoxicated, he's pretty aggressive about it. Do you ever give him more money?

Surely someone would claim "stewardship," saying that it wouldn't be very responsible of us to continue "wasting" money on someone who obviously doesn't use it wisely.

Do the actions of others ever release us from our responsibilities as Christ-followers? Did the homeless guy deserve our help this first time, but not the next? Can accountability exist outside of a personal relationship? What is our motivation for generosity?

I believe that missional living requires that we demonstrate what it might be like to live in a right relationship with the world around us. The proper way to relate to sin it to confess it, repent from it, and run from it. The right relationship with all people is love.

What is the right relationship to a stranger in need?

Today I gave 20 euros (which, considering the current exchange rate, is something like $600 US dollars) to a homeless man who "lives" around our neighborhood. He was drunk, and had a cigarette in one hand. Giving felt like the right thing for me to do, but it really bothered me that the man didn't seem to appreciate it.

We often have people express interest in coming for a visit to "see" our ministry. Some are church planters from the States, some are pastors of existing churches, some are missionaries in other places. We've had seminary students write papers on us, journalists write articles about us, and at least one grade school kid interview us for a class project. We're thankful when anyone shows interest in our work here, and flattered with all of the attention. Nevertheless, everyone who comes to observe our work first-hand sees pretty much the same thing: not much.

Our ministry is entirely relational. How many American pastors and missionaries can I introduce my friends to before they really start to feel like projects? We don't identify ourselves as missionaries. How many creative ways are there to explain how I know these strangers who are always passing through?

We spend time with friends in parks and cafes. Since we're planting simple churches, we don't have a building. We likely never will. We don't have an office (though we could really use one). Our team meetings take place in our homes.

Like I said, there's not a whole lot to see.

Some people understand that there isn't much to see. Some leave disappointed. At least two have accused us of "hiding" our ministry from the "public;" one praising us for protecting and nurturing our fragile relationships, the other criticizing us for avoiding accountability. It wasn't some conspiracy to keep people from seeing our work- there just nothing to see.

How are you involved in international missions? In the past, mission agencies gave you three options: pray, give, or go. Hopefully, you're doing at least one of these things.

I'd like to invite you to a fourth way to participate in what God is doing around the world. You may not be aware of this, but there is a way for you to build a personal relationship with an unbelieving person from an unreached people group that is free, requires no training or time off work, and doesn't require you to learn another language.

You can be a pen pal.

Thankfully, the internet has taken the old idea of corresponding with a complete stranger on another continent and made it, well, faster, cheaper, and more fun. Here's how you can get started:

1. Visit an international classifieds website like kijiji.com, craigslist.org, or tribe.net
or a social networking site like facebook.com, myspace.com, or any of the hundreds of similar sites listed here.
Classified sites tend to be a bit easier to manage (London's gumtree.com, for example, actually has a section titled "pen pals.") and are especially good if you already have an idea of what people group or city you'd like to connect with. For now, let's assume you're using kijiji.com.

2. Scroll to the bottom of the site, and select the local site of your desired country. Many countries have classified ad sites, but it people in Western Europe are so web-connected, these countries are a great place to find someone who is likely to correspond with you.

3. Register a username and password, if necessary.

4. Search through the classified ads to find someone with whom you have something in common. Amateur authors in Wales? A guitar player in Spain? How about moms in Dublin?

5. Post a response to an ad. Or, post an ad of your own. Maybe you'd like to swap recipes with someone in Basel or find a pen pal in Berlin who likes NASCAR. (Good luck with that one). Just be yourself! Remember: for you, this may be a strange and frightening way to make friends, but for them, meeting people online is a pretty normal thing to do.

6. Wait for someone to answer your ad. Many of theses sites will email you when you receive a response. Be sure to keep security in mind as you introduce yourself and get to know the person. Don't make promises you won't be able to keep.

7. Share life with your new friend. Don't treat this as a confrontational evangelism tool- let the person get to know you. For many Western Europeans, you may be the only practicing believer with whom they've had contact. Even those who know about Jesus are unlikely to have seen life in Christ lived out before them. They need to hear what a follower of Jesus thinks about all sorts of things. Tell your stories. Listen to theirs. Send photos. Have a voice conversation on Skype. You may eventually get to meet your pen pal in person some day.

Now, this isn't for everyone. If you're the type who can't stand to talk with someone with whom you disagree, please don't bother. If you're not willing or able to personally invest in a "virtual friend," this isn't for you.

I think there are a lot of believers out there who didn't even know this is an option. I imagine many of you that don't have the time or money or desire to go on a mission trip may be intrigued my the idea of meeting someone online for the sake of sharing life intentionally.

Who knows? God may use you to start an online church planting movement.

Lately it seems that everyone I talk to is tired of church. Some are actively involved- teaching Sunday School, attending Bible Studies, even leading worship. Others have given up church altogether, opting instead for isolated and lonely personal ministries outside any organized body of believers.

These people are not where they need to be, but not because they are in sin. They aren't rebellious or angry. They are discouraged because the church as they know it looks nothing like the community of faith that we read about in the scriptures.

Churches are all about programs, events, and activities. You're a twenty-something married couple? Thirty and single? We have a program for you. Mothers of Preschoolers. Parents of Teens. Businessmen breakfasts, Scrapbooking, Golf, Church-league softball. The more you do, the holier you are. If we haven't seen you in a while, we question your spiritual maturity.

Church leaders desperate to grow their congregations don't know the people already in the pews. The gospel has become an invitation to church, and discipleship an altar-call. Why doesn't anyone ever say, "Wow, they must be doing something wrong for God to be cursing them with all those people in attendance."?

The result of the programs- and numbers-focus is a growing number of people who are churched-out. These are faithful people who have taught the Bible studies, led the mission trips, given their money, and visited the visitors. They know what goes into each big campaign (and how little comes out), and they don't have it in them to "put-on" another one. Now they are finished. Many drop out altogether because they don't see an alternative.

Maybe your mega-church should start a program for them.

Sometimes when I talk to people about missional/relational ministry and church planting (you know, as opposed to program-oriented, attractional, subculture growth), and what my work here in Western Europe looks like, they are left with the question:

"So you get paid to hang out with people and drink coffee?"

"Yes," I reply. "Actually, I do."

But you've got to know that spending time with nationals is really quite difficult. First there's the fact that the language they are speaking is not the language you grew up speaking, but instead something you decided to try to learn well into adulthood. Understanding requires effort. For me that usually means physical fatigue, which isn't so conducive to cross-cultural communication in a smoke-filled bar at two o'clock in the morning.

And then there's the awkward question of what to talk about. Movies? Sports? The weather? It's hard to find commonalities across cultures. You could go the easy route and bring up politics, but that doesn't always end well, as you might imagine. I usually end up going through my well-rehearsed routine of lame jokes and feigned interest in European Football.

So then I'm left with questions. For some reason, the inevitable lull in a conversation always freaks me out so that I turn into Larry King with the badly planned Q&A. I panic, and my mind can't think of any questions that require more than a yes or no answer. I repeat the same question but reworded to prove that I didn't understand the answer the first three times. My life is one of those awkward scenes from any of Ben Stiller's movies.

But I've been through training. I should know better. My default should be to take an active listening posture and to delicately repeat the last three words of any of my friend's comments and nod knowingly but so as to avoid the appearance of agreement. I want to show that I'm interested while remaining ambiguous about what he's actually saying so as not to agree with something I disagree with. My face is trained to show utter fascination with whatever my friend is saying. I'd never want to let on that a boring person is, might be, you know, boring.

So sure, maybe I have the dream job- "throwing parties and telling stories." But it's really quite difficult, as you can see. Now, If I could only figure out what to do on vacation...